This December 22nd, my parents would have celebrated 50 years of marriage. A milestone that speaks to a lifetime of love, partnership, and unwavering commitment. But life, as it often does, had other plans.
My mom and dad were inseparable—attached at the hip. Their love wasn’t just about companionship; it was a rhythm, a routine, a shared existence built over decades. So, when my dad passed, my mom’s world shifted entirely. The life she had known—one where she was a wife and a partner in everything—was suddenly gone. It’s a level of pain and sorrow she only knows how to measure as their many unspoken understanding. But she now faces a new reality. One she never planned for. One she never wanted. But one she still has control over.
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For as long as I can remember, my mom has been a woman of deep devotion and ambition. She became a mother at 23, a wife, a homemaker, and later transitioned into a career in administration.
Beyond her roles, she had passions—she loved arranging flowers, piecing together spoken words, crafting ideas for events, and bringing her creativity to life. She had an entrepreneurial spirit, making and selling seafood salad, and, not to be forgotten, she was once a professional softball player in her younger years. But as life unfolded, she began to lose the energy that once fueled her— over time, she dialed it down, conformed, and let go of the creative spark that once defined her..
Beyond her roles, she had passions—she loved arranging flowers, piecing together spoken words, crafting ideas for events, and bringing her creativity to life. She had an entrepreneurial spirit, making and selling seafood salad, and, not to be forgotten, she was once a professional softball player in her younger years. Over time, she dialed it down, conformed, and used her creative spark less and less—the very spark that once defined her.
Now, she stands in a space she’s never occupied before—widowed. My parents had the chance to enjoy retirement together for a time, but now, grief is recent and heavy. Still, I want her to understand this isn’t the end of her story.
She still has choices.
She still has time.
She still has versions of herself left to discover, conquer, and thrive in.
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For many 60-plussers in Curaçao, social connection and entertainment often revolve around popular pastimes like gambling, casinos, bingo, and bon ku ne. These activities offer a fun escape from routine, along with the added thrill of monetary rewards. And while they’re an awesome way to pass the time, I want her to see that the island has so much more to offer.
I want her to reignite her sense of adventure, to wake up with something exciting on her calendar, and to realize that this phase of life can be about discovery, not just routine. So, I’ve been brainstorming ways she can engage with life differently—things that inspire, uplift, and bring purpose beyond the familiarity of what she knows.
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I’m envisioning a new chapter of experiences for her—staycations, culinary adventures, cultural immersion, local events, wellness retreats, and even hosting her own social engagements. This isn’t about keeping busy. It’s about reinvention, intention, and joy. Life after loss is still life. And my mother’s journey can be one of purpose. She doesn’t have to erase the past. She doesn’t have to rush the healing.
Stepping into this new chapter, I want her to know—This is still her life.
And she gets to shape it however she chooses. To anyone who has watched a loved one navigate loss—grief and renewal can coexist.
And to my mom—This is your time. The next page is blank.
What will you write?
