The gift of the PResent

awakened senses.

 

There’s something about the way Moon River by Frank Ocean has been on repeat for me lately. The way it quietly helped me usher out the last fragments of what I consider the final lingering piece of my previous self should honestly be studied.

Music has a way of slipping past the mind and speaking directly to the spirit. Somewhere between the softness of the song and the quiet moments it accompanied, I could feel something gently closing.

At one point I found myself crying uncontrollably while listening to it. The tears simply would not stop. My mind drifted to my parents’ love story and how abruptly it came to an end, and to the many moments in my life when a chapter quietly closed in a city before I packed my bags and moved on to the next. The wandering in my life suddenly felt very present in that moment. Not in a sad way, but in a deeply human one. As if the song had gently gathered those memories and asked me to sit with them for a second.

I’m not entirely sure if watching Forever on Netflix, that sweet teen series, also played a role in this reflection. Perhaps it did. Stories about youth tend to do that, remind us how the decisions we make in our younger years quietly shape the architecture of the lives we eventually grow into.

And here I am, writing this one day before my birthday. The timing feels almost ceremonial. Pisces season has a way of dissolving illusions and asking us to feel things more deeply than we sometimes expect.
It feels natural, and I accept the challenge to feel things deeper than the usual. In doing so, epiphanies quietly enter the equation. And with them come actionary gestures of kindness toward myself, moments of recognition for the paths that have shaped me. What rose out of this realization was, that the years and the situations I’ve encountered never flattened my sense of purpose. The fire that urges me to continue pursuing a creative path is still burning, very much alive. Something truly worth fighting for and continuing to explore.

But more than anything, I’m writing this from a place of presence. Perhaps the most present I have ever been while sharing something publicly. Accepting all of me. The polished parts and the complicated ones,
The light and the shadow, the softness and the strength.

A sincere Happy birthday to all the Lugini’s that have existed. Thank you for the beauty you brought into this life, and for carrying me through every moments, even the ones where I didn’t give you enough space to simply be in the moment.

I have learned so much from you. I am proud of you, and today I celebrate the journey you have lived so far.

Wherever you going, am going that way....